Wednesday, February 8, 2012

On a Wednesday morning.

Its quite out, nothing but a cold breeze dancing through the branches as I lay in bed waiting eager like a little kid on christmas morning, restless with my thoughts racing, oh how I wish sleep would come again but I know I've lost the battle, helpless and feeling defeat my mind moves to different things but my mind keeps moving back to one thought.  Fear, I fear for my friends and family I don't know what it is but it wont let me be... as this anxiety like restless leg wears me down, I feel trapped inside myself it gets harder to breath! I long so badly to run even the thought is comforting to me, only a few of my friends find freedom with running, I don't know what it is... maybe its the wind in my face or the abuse to my feet smacking the pavement with each step or the fight for breath making me realize how precious every breath is, but all those things are forgotten till its just your body and mind, that's where the real battle is that's where you find how strong you really are, and who you really are its the true therapy.  There's nothing I'd rather be doing... but im trapped with no running shoes or gear so I revert to the ony other therapy I know, talking getting out so it doesn't eat me up and consume me.  I don't know why im having these attacks all I know is I fear for the ones I love I fear something bad will happen.

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